Death Dark Ravines

Only a few days ago, the quiet of our evening was broken by my phone ringing at 8:45 pm.  Certainly, this is not an unusual occurrence.  It was who was on the other end of the line that was unusual: It was my husband's vascular surgeon. "Mrs. B.," he started,  "I won't be in the office on the 18th to do your husband's procedure.  Can you come in on the 7th?"  Knowing what my husband has been through during the past 8 months and his angst to get blood flow restored to his leg after the injury sustained last year, I readily agreed.  "We'll be there!"

The next few days sped by. I marvel at where time 'goes'.  One moment we sleepily shuffle our way into the day; next moment we're shuffling back to bed at night. The days are crammed with activities - even during 'down times' there is a 'busy-ness'. There were things we both wanted to do to prepare for the days of recuperation that follow his procedures.  I had to pare Mount Wash-more down to size and he wanted to mow the grass …  all 5 acres.   In between time, we discovered that Gila needed her ears attended to and the bugs that accompanied the barley I bought for some soup I intended to make suddenly and swiftly overtook my kitchen.  YUCK!!!  So we added to the work-list a whole lot of scrubbing cabinet shelves and washing every can before they went back in the cupboard. Who knows where those little bugs had been and what eggs they left behind! I am happy to report they are now returning to the earth from whence they came!

This morning, the 7th, came and, as usual, we made a mad dash out of the house and down to Gainesville, some 50 miles away for the procedure. We arrived at 11 am and he JUST went into the cath lab at 2:45 pm.  I'm not upset. .. in fact, I am happy that he got moved to last so they can take their time and get it right. So now …  I wait.  The first procedure he had, back in November, was supposed to take 1 hour; they worked on him for four. So I stand at the precipice, staring at the death dark ravine and I wait; and I pray.  Again.

Psalm 23, a psalm of David --

YHVH is my Shepherd

Shepherd!  What a lowly title for the Creator of the universe and everything in it!  But He means it and He fulfills it.  He watches us, He guards, He guides, He supplies, He takes joy in us, He longs for quiet times with us. He is gentility personified; He is authority; He is YHVH.

I shall not want

I must say that through the 60 years of my life, I've been well fed and well provisioned.  Even in those years of wandering and drifting, looking for love in all the wrong places, I did not lack.  Anything and everything I ever needed and everything I will ever need has already been created.

He has me lie down in grassy pastures

YHVH knows we need to eat.  YHVH knows we need "things" be it a place to live or clothing or even stuff for fun.  Grassy pastures is more than a place to be at rest and be satisfied.  It is, essentially, sheep heaven! When we follow Him, even through the difficult times, we will be able to rest. But we've got to trust Him as the sheep trust the Shepherd.

He leads me by quiet water

Sheep are not so very smart. But, this is one thing they do know, that if their wooly furry selves get wet, they get heavy. They fear drowning.  The Shepherd knows this.  He doesn't put the sheep through undue stress. So he leads them to quiet water instead of loud rushing water so that they are not afraid. Our Shepherd has told us, "I have not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind." Whatever fear we have, does not come from YHVH.

He restores my inner person

Just when we feel depleted, empty, and spent, His grace fills us with strength to continue. 'Restores' could be re-phrased as He makes new again. His mercies, His grace are new every morning. We are renewed every day.

He guides me in right paths

Literally, the Hebrew reads, “He guides me (leads me forth) in the cycles (circular track) of righteousness.  Each one of His feasts in the yearly cycle speak to us of His saving power and His supplying a way to restore us to the time when we walked with Him in the garden.  Those are the paths He wants us to take …the paths of righteousness that lead us back the Garden with Him.

for the sake of His name

Yes, YHVH does all these things for us, but He also realizes that He has a reputation to protect. If He wants people to follow Him, and I believe He does for the word says that He is not willing that any should perish, then He will demonstrate constancy forever. He cannot change, He cannot be capricious. He is ever mindful of the obligations He has taken on Himself (the well-being of all those who follow Him) and so He acts accordingly.

Even if I pass through death dark ravines,

Death dark ravines are particular to the person experiencing them.  If you are a teen and tonight is your prom and you've got a zit the size of Mount Everest on the end of your nose, you may feel it is a death dark ravine moment.  If your baby or spouse is very ill, it is a death dark ravine moment. If you have 6 children and you just lost your job, it is a death dark ravine moment. We each experience the troubles of this life in our own way. Don't let anyone tell you you're being silly. Your pain is your pain. But next comes the good news:

I will fear no evil, for You are with me.

YHVH is the Maker and Giver of all -- There is nothing He cannot do.  There is nothing that escapes His notice. He has promised in His Word that He will never leave us or forsake us.  He has told us to be strong, because He is with us WHEREVER we go. The father of evil and lies has NO POWER over us!  NONE!!! You are YHVH's beloved. He is with you always!

Your rod and Your staff reassure me

Rods and staffs to the shepherd are instruments of correction and tools for rescue.  The Shepherd of our souls has played both these roles in our lives.  He has corrected, because if we go too far astray, we might be lost forever.  He has rescued, because we've pushed His hands away, wanting to do it ourselves and we've made quite the mess. So when we trust Him, His rod and His staff are reassuring to us; they are evidence that He has our best interest at heart!

You prepare a table for me

When a table is loaded with food, we get ideas of plenty, of celebration, of festivity.  In the Hebraic mindset, we see that food was shared during the making of a covenant. The table YHVH prepares is all of this. We who are either 'Jewish' or grafted into the House of Israel have accepted His covenant. Psalm 147 says He has made His covenant with no other people.  And notice WHO is setting the Table!  He is!  This covenant is not dependent on what WE do; it is dependent solely on His Will.  Just as when He had Abraham sleep through the making of the original covenant.  

even as my enemies watch

Ever eat something in front of someone and notice hunger or envy flash across their eyes?  The same thing is happening here, but on a much grander scale.   The Creator of the universe has rest His favor on us!  Can you imagine the chagrin, jealousy, ire of all the other nations of the world? And they are powerless.  All their machinations cannot change how our Beloved Shepherd feels about His Chosen People. Smile! It will make them wonder what you've been up to!

You anoint my head with oil

In the scriptures, Priests, kings, prophets and the recovered lepers were anointed.  Anointing was a demonstration of setting someone apart for a certain task in Yah's kingdom. Priests ministered, taught and were the people's liasion to YHVH; kings wrote their own copy of the Torah and ruled Yah's people; Prophets "told it like it is" from Yah's perspective; and recovered lepers were restored into the community of YHVH after their time of being outside the camp because of their disease, which was usually because of their dissatisfaction with their lives.

from an overflowing cup

YHVH created and owns all the resources of the entire world. The fact that this cup is overflowing shows the unlimited supply of, not only the provision of oil, but unlimited supply of His grace, strength, Spirit and joy. Don't limit Him or 'put Him in a box' with unbelief! He won't lose -- but you would!

Goodness and grace will pursue me

Inescapable goodness, inescapable grace pursuing us, chasing us down to bless us!

every day of my life;

Not just the high times, or the low times; the times we've been good, or the times we've been bad, but every day YHVH will manifest His loving-kindness to us -- if only we would receive it!

and I will live in the house of YHVH

For a moment, consider the magnitude of that statement. Living in the very house of YHVH!  Beyond one's comprehension really.  Even Rav Shaul / the Emissary Paul said that mind cannot comprehend the awesome things that are prepared for us! To try to address such a monumental topic within the confines of this blog is …well …unreasonable.  As infinite as Yah is, so is His abode!

for years and years to come.

As infinite as His abode is, as infinite as time is, as infinite as He is, so is the time we will dwell with Him.  What we are seeing here is not all there is!  Don't get so caught up, staring at the death dark ravine that you lose sight of the beauty around you! And, as a dear friend used to say, "It takes the bitter to appreciate the sweet".

As I write this, it is now 5:43 pm. Three hours have passed since my beloved was taken into the cath lab. The nurse just came in to tell me that they will be wheeling him into this room in a moment. He'll be groggy and silly from the sedation.  I'll be rejoicing that the love of my life will be sharing more days with me, and praising my Heavenly Father, YHVH Tz'va'ot, that He has turned us away from the death dark ravine one more time.  HalleluYah!

PS. We are now home at 10:30 pm. Still praising the Father for a day full of miracles. 

Blessings from our home to yours –

Yocheved